There are so many missing variables in my life. I can barely answer the question of where I will be in 1 year. What city will capture my senses? Who will I love? Who will I be confiding in? What will I be fighting for? I'm sure it doesn't help that most of the blogs I follow are about 20 something year old women who are married, having children, and their only worry is what color to paint their dining room...
It's scary to think about all the things that will change my life. All the catalysts that will alter where I will live and who I will be in relationship with. It makes me sentimental to think about leaving all of the beautiful people I have invested in and been invested by over the last year (will be 2 years by the time I leave).
How do I prepare for that time of transition? In the next 8 months, what do I do?
I just live and let life live, right? I just embrace it and live in the moment, soaking up all of the human connection around me, right?
If only I could turn my brain off, along with my fascination and desire to figure out the future.
I have nothing but love and respect for you.
ReplyDeletedon't turn your brain off! but there is the balance between fascination with the future (dreaming bit dreams, weighing possiblities) and obsession with the future or the past (trying to micromanage it, fearing the outcomes of decisions taken or not taken). i wish i could do that, too. we can get better at it though, I hope.
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