I recently saw a film called "I AM." I highly recommend it to anyone interested in the human connection. Anyone who is wondering, what's wrong with the world and what can we do about it?

There are no major revelations discovered or huge first-time pieces of information discovered, but it hit home hard the fact that we are connected. We can try to ignore the fact that our energies affect each other, but the hard cold truth is that they do.

In one part in the film, Tom Shadyac (the guy on the quest) is sitting in front a bowl of yogurt. The yogurt is hooked up to all of these various cords that register the energy in the yogurt. Let's all be clear. Yogurt doesn't have feelings.

So, the scientist would ask Tom questions that would evoke a negative/positive response (like, hey, Tom, have you talked to your agent lately? or hey, Tom have you talked to your lawyer lately?). Tom wouldn't say anything necessarily in response, but the machine registering the energy from the yogurt would move - recognizing a change in the energy.

It was powerful. It was crazy to see how the yogurt picked up the energy that Tom was feeling.

How did that happen?

We are connected. We feel what each other feels. We hurt when another hurts and we can't explain it. It's why we hate being around people who bum us out and we love being around people who have positive energy. It's why our heart physically hurts when someone else is in pain.

A guarded heart is a happy heart. Right?

I think the "Where will you be in 10 years?" is an interesting question to ask a 23 year old.

There are so many missing variables in my life. I can barely answer the question of where I will be in 1 year. What city will capture my senses? Who will I love? Who will I be confiding in? What will I be fighting for? I'm sure it doesn't help that most of the blogs I follow are about 20 something year old women who are married, having children, and their only worry is what color to paint their dining room...

It's scary to think about all the things that will change my life. All the catalysts that will alter where I will live and who I will be in relationship with. It makes me sentimental to think about leaving all of the beautiful people I have invested in and been invested by over the last year (will be 2 years by the time I leave).

How do I prepare for that time of transition? In the next 8 months, what do I do?

I just live and let life live, right? I just embrace it and live in the moment, soaking up all of the human connection around me, right?

If only I could turn my brain off, along with my fascination and desire to figure out the future.

Life Comes and It Goes.

Sometimes I like to take a small walk down memory lane with a handful of "what ifs" and "what could have beens." I was trying to find the name of a movie that a friendly boy had once recommended to me a little over a year ago. I went through my messages on my social networking site (just guess which one!) to look and started to just reread every message he had sent me.

I looked at the dates of when he sent them and I don't have the guts to figure out how soon after he gave me a ring to tell me he met the girl he is now going to marry, and that, well, it just wouldn't make much sense for us to keep in touch any more.

And then I looked at the last message that popped up when I searched for his name. It was my dearest friend Emily. From the message it looked like I had fallen off the face of the earth and wrote her to tell her my deepest apologies for not keeping in touch. And she wrote me back the sweetest, most loving note full of encouragement.

And then I'm pretty sure I called her a few days later, moments after I received that fateful, disheartening call, to strike up our long lost friendship over our validation of each others' bruised hearts.

It's beauty in the breakdown, you know? What ifs... Though, I rather like how it turned out. I'm single with no prospects in sight, but have a friend that I know I can always count on.

Scott & Seth Avett sing, "Blue Ridge Mountain Blues" (written in 1924 b...

This song is so lovely. I miss you, Blue Ridge. But it's not in a "Woe is me" kind of missing, but just a "Goodness, be still my heart. You are absolutely beautiful in so many ways" kind of way.

Emily G and Mary, remember when the Avett Brothers played on that hot summer's day in downtown Greensboro (for free)? Were the details that Emily and I rode our bikes (Big Blue and Crazy Pete may you both rest in sweet restful peace wherever you are) and met up with Mary? I think fondly of that afternoon often.

It happened!

Senator Boxer repped me and my family in her speech on the Senate floor! You can fast forward to 04:28, and you'll hear her mention Leah from Torrance. That's me. May we hope the system will continue to work and provide for Americans.

http://www.c-spanvideo.org/videoLibrary/clip.php?appid=599637715

joy

It's been an exhausting weekend. Long story short, one of my teams (the Heartland Team) hit black ice as they were driving through Utah and totaled their van. Miraculously no one got hurt, at all. It's a miracle. My supervisor, Justin, and I drove a new van out to them on Sunday and then continued to drive with them to Denver, just to monitor how they are doing.

Their lives are so incredibly precious and valuable. To describe the overwhelming heaviness on my heart and body all weekend would take forever. They are okay and that's all that matters.

So, these are are a few things that have brought me some silver linings and joy over the last several days.

1. The Nomads. No doubt. Such a beautiful group of altruistic and selfless people.

2. I'm sorry, I am that aunt. She's absolutely beautiful, isn't she? She is totally growing into that hair and noggin.
3. I wrote to my Senator about the cutting of the Title X funding for Planned Parenthood, asking her to stand against it. Someone very close to me was raped in 2002 and as her student health center wrote her off, she turned to Planned Parenthood for help. Without them, she wouldn't have known what to do. So, with her permission, I shared her story with my Senator. I received a response from Senator Boxer's staffer:

Dear Ms. Garrard,

As you know, the House recently passed a federal funding bill that cuts off federal funding for Planned Parenthood and Title X. The Senate will be considering its own funding bill next week and we expect there to be attacks similar attacks on this funding.

Senator Boxer appreciated you writing her on this topic an found your story to be very moving. She would like to ask your permission to mention your story and name on the Senate floor and with the press as an example of how much good federal funding for Planned Parenthood and Title X does.

If you have any questions I can be reached at...

Thanks,

Patrick

I have hope that the bill will not be passed through the Senate and it's so positive to know that our democratic system does work if we utilize it.

4. Sweet tea. My roommate made me a glass on Saturday and as I Skyped with my sister and niece, my troubles seemed to melt away.