Ending, Beginning

Tonight is the last night I live with Emily. At least for now. She has plans for future roommates after graduation, but maybe we will be able to live together again. Maybe when we are both married. That would be fun.

I'm home. Let's hang out.

bill's blog as dictated to leah

I love spoons. They have round ends and a fun handle. I enjoy eating yogurt with them. I also enjoy that movie, Robinhood, with Kevin Costner, you know the one, where the sheriff talks about eating that guys' heart out with a spoon...come on, you know, because it would hurt more. I don't like it when Leah corrects my grammar and sentence structure. Blogs don't have to have proper sentence structure - they are blogs. That is all.

Oh, one more thing. Leah is pretty. Yes, yes. I repeat myself, I repeat myself. Often, often.

Now. That is all.

Thank You..

..to my high school for requiring me to take a keyboarding class. Compared to these foreigners (aka. people who are not me) I look so high tech and awesome. A little self-esteem boost is necessary sometimes.

..to my university for requiring me to take a communications class. Even though I almost poop in my pants everytime I have to give a speech, my nerves apparently don't shine through. Without this class, however, I'd look a fool.

..to the Aussies that are staying in our room. You boys are so good looking. (Thank you to God for making them that way).

..NOT to Hitler. I can't believe that man was in power for so long, and SO many people encouraged and supported his radical behaviours for so long.

So, those are my thank yous for now.

Today Bill and I went to the Sachsenhausen concentration camp, which existed from 1936-1945. I couldn't believe what I was seeing and thinking about the thousands of people who died there, even after the war when the Russians used the space as an internment camp for POWs. It was sickening to think about it. Even in the concentration camp the Jews were seperated from all the other prisoners - they were seen as unworthy to be among the others. Anyone the SS saw as deeming threat to the Reich, Hitler's govern, were captured, Jews were just one sector of the whole. This concentration camp only housed about 60,000 prisoners, so I can only imagine what Aushwitz was like.

Tomorrow we are going to Frankfurt bright and early at 8.00 am and we will spend two nights there. Less than a week left - very interesting.

I love London. There are so many people of different cultures, races, and ethnicities. It's very beautiful to look at.

Tomorrow morning, like 3 am, Bill and I begin our adventures to Land of Germans. I am very excited! I didn't like Glasgow so much and I was wondering if I stopped liking to travel, but I've regained it. I went to Stonehenge today and that was very cool. So now I have seen two of the seven wonders of the medieval world and one of the ancient world. I'd like to see all 14 of them!

Fun.

facing truth

I met the world again last night and it screamed in my face. It made me think and question and wonder about truth. My most common response was "I don't know." I don't know what is truth. I get tired of caring about people, I get tired of being inclusive, I get tired of loving, I get tired of wondering if there is anyway I could ever make a decision about my faith 'for myself.' I'll always be connected to what my parents taught me and I'll always be questioned about it.

The world felt so disrespectful last night. I don't have blatant disregard for others' beliefs, so why must it be there for mine?

I don't know who I am. Put me back in Greensboro and I could tell you. Not here. My lack of experience in relationships is laughable, my concern for others is strange, my reservations are unheard of. I've never felt more naive and young in my life. As alien as I feel, I'm not willing to change. But why? Why am I the way I am? Why did I make a commitment to not have sex until I was married? My thinking is so foggy and there is no understanding here.

I have plenty of friends who don't believe in God. Our relationship, though, is of respect. I respect their right to believe or not believe in whatever. They respect my right to do the same. There is no pressure on either side to defend what we have chosen. So why am I met with this here?

I'll try not to let these thoughts occupy my mind to the point where I can't have any fun. One thing I do know for sure is that I enjoy caring and loving, so if I continue that theme in my life, then perhaps I will be alright.