Tuesday, January 11, 2011



I feel like I write my most readable posts when I'm angsty and confused and frustrated with not knowing. But life is going really well right now. I had better not speak too soon, though.

So let's talk boys. As I'm growing up, meeting new people, meeting new guys, I've started to shed away my "non-negotiables" or those things that I've thought I always really, really wanted in a guy. And I've started to realize what's important. It's not the beard, it's not the style, it's not the perfect jaw structure, but instead it's the heart. It's the brain. It's what he does when he sees someone being made fun of for their race or their sexuality or their gender.

It's how he functions when no one is looking and with what discernment and excitement he approaches each day.

My parents have one of the greatest love stories. My dad showed such patience and my mom was such the indecisive one. So the story goes, they met in grad school, both studying Social Work. I think during their second year, they both had an internship in the same town, which was a 45 minute drive away, so they and a few other classmates carpooled together. During that time, my dad asked my mom out on a date. Mom said yes and they went.

But no sparks flew. Mom told him that she felt they should just be friends. And so they were. For some time after. And dad was okay with that. He let it be.

But eventually, dad asked her on another date. And they went. Mom realized that this man was authentic, genuine, and will forever be by her side, through the dark days and light. He wasn't flashy or the life of the party, though he did have a really sick mustache at the time.

And it's true. He's been here every day. Never has even thought about abandoning our family or even checking out mentally. He's always there to give advice and guidance and take my annoying calls about car stuff at any time. I'm lucky to have a dad like that.

I've had some incredible examples of authentic men in my life. My dad, brother and brother-in-law. Now, to find one more so they can all go on canoe trips together.

1 comment:

  1. like your post, friend. like your level-headed look at the things that are important. :) but a beard and good style is still a plus! hehehe

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